Friday, November 4, 2022

Talking Cures – conversation 4 of 5

 

Reading time about 9 minutes

('Talking Cure includes listening, conveying, holding)



Feeding each other’s minds

In Zeldin’s view, Socrates was a teacher who wouldn’t teach!

Instead, he was the first known conversationalist, believing in dialogue because it discounted argument in favour of politeness, tact, soul-shared learning. “Individuals could not be intelligent on their own… they needed someone else to stimulate them”. (Zeldin, T. 1998)

We depend on each other in many ways, feed each other in many ways. An ancient story told by Piero Ferrucci (Ferrucci, p. 2004):

 

“A man was given permission to visit Heaven and Hell while he was still alive. He went first to Hell, and there he saw a great gathering of people seated at long tables set with rich and abundant food. Yet these people were starving and weeping.

The visitor saw the reason: their spoons and forks were longer than their arms, so that they were unable to bring food to their mouths.

Next the man went to Heaven, where he saw the same setting: long tables richly garnished with food of every kind. Here, too, the people had spoons and forks longer than their arms and were likewise unable to feed themselves. Yet they were joyful and well fed. But they were not trying to feed themselves.

They were feeding each other”. 

Not just food, but energy, beauty, variety, thoughts ….

In these times we continue to be swamped by information, numerous sources and channels, yet struggle to build a picture of what is truly happening, struggle to unearth truth. Fake news, propaganda, rumour, distortion, lies, conflicting world views, selective censoring and silence practiced by the media don't help the situation! So independent thinking and dialogue rooted in objective moral value, non dualistic thinking and open-mindedness blended with prudence and a well-functioning critical faculty becomes more and more valuable. Hopefully paving a way to meaningful conversation exchanges.

Aspects of Dialogue

David Bohm’s concept of dialogue is rooted in notion of shared exploration and discovery, and informs much of the dynamics of circle work (Bohm, D. 1996):

Dialogue in action: Zubin Mehta and Placido Domingo in concert, feeling into each other:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc_24Ya5Y4E

The aspiration of dialogue is a free flow of meaning, a raising of consciousness, building of relationships and enhanced communication in a group that is a microcosm of society. (Bohm’s call for dialogue is wonderful, but his method cumbersome (high group numbers, protracted period of time, frequent meeting, lack of agenda or facilitation) hence our preference for circle work based on the same principles but a different methodology)

ON COMMUNICATION

Because thoughts or ideas are notoriously difficult to define and largely misrepresented and misunderstood, they may be maintained and leveraged by a small collective. However, sound dialogue has the potential to glue together a fragmented humanity by throwing light on an idea. In dialogue, even assumptions and frictions between conversationalists, and misperceived intent through poor listening, holds the possibility generating new insights, greater understanding and new meaning.

The process must not aim at coming to conclusions, solving problems, taking action, but building better representations of ideas. And be trusted because thought grows, continuously develops itself.

The aim is big. Consider that built up over centuries is an independent, unconscious pool of know-how that far exceeds the limitation of individuals - collective representations fed to us from this thought pool are not true reality, but polluted reality. So, it behoves us to deepen our discernment and consider ideas (givens) in a new way. And that we cannot continue to try and solve our internal or relational ‘problems’ in technical problem-solving manner.   (Think about the range of misunderstandings, misrepresentations, perceptions that are raised by different people on basic givens or ideas – yet the ideas continue to be non – neutral, accepted once boxed into one’s own definition only, give rise to ‘problems’ to be solved instead of ideas to be changed.

Capitalism. Communism. Democracy. Eugenics. Elitism. Artificial Intelligence. Abundance. Positive thinking. Scientific expertise. Black Lives Matter. Gender bias. Social distancing. Collective good…)

Walls block listening. Separate and fragment. Through dialogue, recognising similarities and differences regarding an idea may highlight something new to those engaged – a shared, new creation may emerge, overcoming even unconscious blocking or interference).

 

ON DIALOGUE

Society lacks coherent shared meaning making it likely to fall apart in many areas. Dialogue allows for a stream of meaning that flows among, through and between us. It’s about sharing and grasping meaning (bridges) – NOT solving, analysing, proving, winning as we defend beliefs, assumptions, worldviews – and avoid uncomfortable cognitive dissonance (walls).

By nature, we tend to set up (and cast in concrete) independent entities – nations, religions, disciplines, ideas – which are outcomes of our thought process. We tend towards self - interest, believe truth is as we see it, groupings (because we need connection and validation).

If we pended our assumptions, beliefs then through dialogue we can allow them to dissolve, grow towards new perceptions and sensitivity, and participatory consciousness can happen.

THE NATURE OF COLLECTIVE THOUGHT

In a troubled, conflicted world, new thought creeps in and prevails over us all because most of our thought is collective, shaped by influences and what we experience. We “see the world according to the general collective representations circulating around or society and culture …”

(One can here sense why rumour, propaganda, misinformation on a grand scale, menticide programmes can be so powerful and effective. Our challenge is of course to change collective (mis)representations in the right way)  

THE PROBLEM AND THE PARADOX

We face a multitude of new, big, complex ‘problems’ today and feel that they require ‘discussion’ and the “putting forward” of ‘solutions’ (the Greek meaning of solution is “put forward”). Into our endeavours and without questioning the ideas we discuss, we bring our presuppositions, assumption, understandings, definitions of parts and relationships.

Relational (individual, group, international), psychological, societal problems can’t be treated as problems. They are paradoxical and our own individual paradoxes are a deeply rooted, inherent aspect of ourselves. Vices are unsolvable paradoxes.

THE OBSERVER AND THE OBSERVED

Normally we don’t see that our assumptions are affecting the nature of our observations”. They are a lens. A sort of ‘observer’. And all of our ‘ideas’ are pre-wrapped for us by the wider collective. (Here alone is a good justification for Bohm’s notion of dialogue)

SUSPENSION, THE BODY, AND PROPRIOCEPTION

Suspending judgment and suspension before acting is suppressing thoughts or feelings until a right response can be made – for example awareness of one’s aggression allows unfiltered observation, an ability to lighten and balance a potentially wrong response. (Think mindful awareness as a brake to support anger management).

Like the body, thought has movement, is a process, an element in an interconnected system, a set of reflexes which may be liable to warning/ alert, insight and change.

Proprioception is a sense or self-perception of movement, force, body position mediated by neurons located in our muscles, tendons, joints – an extension of our mind.

Clearly in dialogue suspension, the body and proprioception can play a positive role.

PARTICIPATORY THOUGHT AND THE UNLIMITED

Thoughts are always a work in progress. Ideas under construction. And dialogue fits under the heading of participatory conversation towards collective meaning making.

Indigenous cultures have long adopted such a way of communicating and being.

This has enhanced their bond to nature, their deep understanding of our connectivity.

 

Simple Principles of dialogue

Dialogue is then an inquiry into the process of collective thinking. Bohm believed that such a form of exchanging ideas about ideas was of absolutely crucial relevance to transforming culture and setting it free from misinformation and misrepresentation.

 ·    Dialogue occurs in an empty space not limited by aims, agendas, need for conclusions, decisions. So we stay free.

·     Every participant listens, suspends judgment, does not attack ideas. Suspends assumptions. Doesn’t impede the flow of the dialogue.

·   Every participant is transparent, honest, open as possible and does not hold back in order to be ‘politically correct’

·      Ideas become shared and built-upon by all. Synergy becomes a regular dynamic.

Dialogue moves us from being hate-based to being heart-based.

In dialoguing we see each other through, don’t see through each other. There is a sense that in the process of true dialogue we lose self to the collective.

Dynamics of Circle Work


Circles are NOT places for holding meetings and debates.

They have been around in many cultures (historical, modern and indigenous) and many applications for many years in many forms. In our process we include as many Dialogue aspects and thinking as is feasible. https://culturescan.biz/the-magic-of-perspective-the-culturescan-process/

Tasks are carried out (outperforming all other setups in our view) by a small group of people. But the power of circles lies in the building of relationships, being a crucible for shared leadership, a space where people take on responsibility in a new way.

(Peter Block answered the question “In one sentence, what are the essential underlying factors or dynamics that give rise to the spirit and power of these circles?” in this way: “A fully functioning circle welcomes strangers. The members refrain from offering help and advice. Participants are heard for who they are. They receive affirmation that there is nothing wrong with them. This makes leadership as we know it, obsolete. Members are present for each other”) (Block, P. 2020).

We characterise circles as a:

 

·         Container. A unique social construct, a safe and confidential space

·         Incubator. A cultivation and nurturing of the whole person (physical, intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual), deeper mindfulness, deeper relating, and thinking with a bigger, more beautiful mind. And of a shared emergent future

·         Relationship builder. Where people can be. And be together. Belong. Experience presence and compassion. Circle participation equips individuals to connect across all diversities with love, compassion, commitment, respect and honesty. Without deception of self nor of others).

·         Conversation facilitator. Deep conversations happen. Presence is choosing to be fully in the present moment in terms of one’s sensory, relational, intuitive and interconnectivity realities, and to be attuned to others, be open, vulnerable and be there for them. Dan Siegel: “Presence is the portal for integration, and integration is the basis of health and well-being… But is also fully relational, honouring the personal self of me and the interconnected self of we ...” (Siegel, D. 2018) Stories – the currency of meaning – is exchanged.

·         Learning space. The learning space provided by circle methodology (and reinforcing work conducted outside of circle activities) stimulates both learning and new ways of learning and allows for a bridging of the individuals and group’s past and the future. This often leads to the letting go of ‘baggage’ that has been limiting growth, and an embracing of an expanding of every aspect of their personhood – intellectual, social, emotional and spiritual.

·         Enlarger. The experience of circle work, over time, leads to the emergence of people who have ‘enlarged’. For different people this may be in terms of physical embodiment, bigger and more beautiful thinking, emotional and social intelligence, or even a transcendent state – appreciating connectivity, understanding capacities, possessing character virtues, and developing maturities (cognitive, social, emotional, ethical and spiritual). The Antony Gormley sculpture hints at this emergence.

             (Williams, G. 2022)


We must never diminish the power and meaning of circle work.

The world in which we live is characterised by social isolation and uprooted values – causes of widespread anxiety, depression and trauma. Circles offer a way out of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5IX-np5fE   Johann Hari

In Native American Indigenous culture, circles themselves were considered sacred and imbued with divine presence. Now that’s a non-Western, non-egoic way of thinking!  (Except that as Jung has said, “The most powerful religious symbol is the circle. The circle is one of the great primordial images of mankind, that in considering the symbol of the circle we are analysing the self”. (Campbell, J. 2022) Each participant when given the power to speak or listen becomes part of that sacredness

 

A very recent email: “My name is Anna, I’m a journalist and teacher from Moscow, Russia. I’m writing just to say million thanks for your remarkable presentation about Story Circles on «Storify your culture» conference this May.
I’ve started organizing and facilitating story circles with my colleagues, friends and family and each time the results are beyond all the expectations. It’s a truly invaluable tool which deepens the relationships, takes them to the next level and helps gain into myriads of insights. So inspiring and uplifting!

 


click to enlarge

Circles are much, much more than solving problems or completing tasks. They are places where:  

 

·         people attend to each other in a deeply spiritual, transformative way

·         a shared thought-pool emerges, as does real community

·         a raising of consciousness happens through the sharing our stories

 

Closing Thoughts

There is little doubt that the times in which we live are hostile, divisive and fragmenting at all levels (individuals, relationships, communities, organisations, nations) - which trend is fuelled by propaganda and lies. The good news is that we have the minds, characteristics, capacities and technologies/ methods to develop true dialogue and bring healing and new life to our society.

“What happens first, in any “community”, is that those who would participate in it listen. But if we would listen, we must also tell; and if we would tell our stories, we need places where we can tell and listen.  In this mutuality between telling and listening, between speaking and hearing, lies the deepest spiritual significance of mutual-aid groups (sometimes erroneously termed “self-help groups”), like Alcoholics Anonymous.

Those wrestling with spiritual dilemmas do not need answers but presence - permission to confront the dilemma and struggle with it aloud”. (Kurtz, E and Ketcham, K. 1994)

“It’s coming from the circle that we are each other’s medicine” – Professor Ruby Mendenhall, University of Illinois 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. How important is deep conversation, true dialogue and the building of connections and relationships, of esteem and belonging, in the world that we inhabit today?

2.  In your situation is your leadership ready to let go and allow employees (or community members or circle participants) to freely participate in confidential circles and assume responsibility for implementing suggestions/ recommendations? 

 3. In your view how does circle work differ from more “left-brain” approaches to problems or ideas (for example systems thinking, agile) and what do you believe are the advantages or disadvantages of these differences?

 

REFERENCES

Block, Peter (2020) Leadership and the Small Group Common Good Collective https://commongood.cc/reader/leadership-and-the-small-group-by-peter-block/ 

Bohm, David (1996) On Dialogue (edited by Lee Nichol) Routledge, London and New York

Campbell, Joseph (2022) Interviewed by Bill Moyers: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth. Episode 6 ‘Masks of Eternity’ 23 August 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g9RVCPePDk

Ferrucci, Piero (2004) What We May Be: techniques for psychological and spiritual growth through psychosynthesis Jeremy P. Tarcher/ Penguin

Hari, Johann (2019) This Could Be Why You Are Depressed or Anxious 11 October, 2019 Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5IX-np5fE

Kurtz, Ernest and Ketcham, Katherine (1994) The Spirituality of Imperfection: storytelling and the journey to wholeness Bantam Books

Siegel, Daniel J. MD (2018) Aware: the science and practice of presence (The ground-breaking meditation practice) Perigee www.drdansiegel.com/resources/wheel_of_awareness/

Zeldin, Theodore (1998) An Intimate History of Humanity Vintage

Williams, Graham (2022) The Use of Circle Work by Modern - Day Leaders Handout for Storify Your Culture Conference, 2022






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