PERSONAL VALUES
Values are what are important to us. What we value.
Values and practices are a closed loop system. Stated values should be lived. Practices lead to the adoption of values. They go together like horse and cart.
In Blue Road to Atlantis, the old marlin steps in to take the hook in order to save another fish from the fisherman who had earlier caught the love of his life. As he slowly dies, and is pulled ever closer to the boat, his friends are with him. A parasitic remora (or marlin-sucker). And a Jamaican-speaking dolphin.
With each ever-diminishing circle the old marlin is called to let go of a core life-value. At one point he asks:
“Then tell me dolphin. How do I let go of life, truly let go?”
“Just like you splash down after a jump, mon”.
“But there’s no choice in that. Gravity pulls me down”.
“Den let de sky pull you up”. (Nussbaum, J. 2002)
What are your 10 most important personal values? If you were called upon to discard your values one by one, then which few, or ultimately which one would you hang on to?
There are no right nor wrong answers. Each person develops and make choices about the values that are meaningful to them, and even when shared, we may each have our own very different definitions and behaviours that we relate to each value.
(You may share a love of learning with Leonardo da Vinci. Frantically and anxiously chase after and read every new business book that someone recommends. Attend live and on-line courses. Add to your information knowledge this way. Leonardo roamed the countryside with paper and pen to hand, observed and drew on nature for many of his ideas and inventions, was not that well educated in any formal sense. Yet his mindfulness and curiosity enabled stunning wisdom and innovation. And he loved it!)
(You may share a love of learning with Leonardo da Vinci. Frantically and anxiously chase after and read every new business book that someone recommends. Attend live and on-line courses. Add to your information knowledge this way. Leonardo roamed the countryside with paper and pen to hand, observed and drew on nature for many of his ideas and inventions, was not that well educated in any formal sense. Yet his mindfulness and curiosity enabled stunning wisdom and innovation. And he loved it!)
And our values may alter as life happens.
During the current coronavirus lock-down we have an opportunity to revisit our personal values. Perhaps reframe some of them, see them in a different light. As we mature we tend to move from the valuing of the extrinsic: position, possessions, power, (hedonistic) pleasure, perfection – to also straddling the intrinsic: (higher) purpose, people, planet, presence, personhood.
Values and practices are about the whole person, overlapping the physical, intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual. Here are a few to mull over:
Adventure
After the first few days of lock-down, will we feel as if we’re under house arrest, and long for the freedom of wide open spaces, travel to foreign places, adventure and fun. Or will we begin to regain our capacity for simple joys? As in the sentiments expressed in the Louis Armstrong hit of yesteryear:
“I see trees of green, red roses too, I see ‘em bloom, for me and for you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue, clouds of white. Bright blessed days, dark sacred nights. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. The colors of a rainbow, so pretty in the sky, are also on the faces of people going by. I see friends shaking hands, sayin’ ‘how do you do’. They’re really sayin’ ‘I love you’. I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They’ll learn much more than I’ll never know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world”. (Thiele, B & Weiss, G. 1967)
Will we be able to find adventure in new happenings and experiences, being transported by a book, activating our imagination…?
Pioneering Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, believed that adults should be involved in serious play. He practiced what he preached. One day in the grounds outside his home, he was playing in nature, busy constructing in miniature a bridge over a stream. A passer-by looked on in amazement and observed, “Is that not the world famous doctor? It doesn’t look like it”.
Pioneering Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, believed that adults should be involved in serious play. He practiced what he preached. One day in the grounds outside his home, he was playing in nature, busy constructing in miniature a bridge over a stream. A passer-by looked on in amazement and observed, “Is that not the world famous doctor? It doesn’t look like it”.
Movement/ Exercise
The centre for physical movement in our brains is the same as for intellectual movement. That’s why it’s a good idea to take a walk to solve a problem. A quick look at human kinetics (from the Greek kinesis = movement) reveals the wonder of chemical, electrical and mechanical movement without which we cannot walk, shiver, swallow, process solids and liquids, blink, talk, track visually, hear, smell, breathe, pump blood, touch, create new neural pathways … or dance, or do yoga …
During lock-down, we can maintain our exercise practice without going outdoors. Perhaps spend 10 minutes each day doing the 5BX (five basic exercises) developed by Dr Bill Orban in the 1950s for Canadian pilots.
Mindfulness
Our default setting is all too often MINDLESSNESS. We are frenetically busy, think a lot, get distracted, unfocused, strive, and become impatient with others, and resent what we consider to be chores. Contrary to these ‘normal’ behaviours we can learn to be habitually calm, present, have clarity, and be non-judgmental.
A young girl approaches her father and asks, “Is it true that when we are asleep, we can wake up?” Her father assures her, “Of course it is true”. “Then”, says the girl, “it must also be true that when we are awake we can wake up more”.
Being mindful is calmly observing, being aware, accepting non-judgmentally. We can wash dishes, mindful of the warmth of the water, the opportunity to do a task for others, be grateful for our faculties. After her left-brain stroke it took 3 years for neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor to be able to stack dishes after washing them – a “left brain” logical, mathematical task. (Bolte Taylor, J)
As we have evolved as humans we have developed what English psychologist Paul Gilbert refers to as “new brain-mind troubles”. We have the capacity to look ahead, anticipate, become anxious, worry. We can look back, regret, reflect on and relive mistakes Forget the present moment that we only live once – whether in lock-down or not. And forget the antidotes to these ‘troubles’; mindfulness and compassion. (Gilbert, P. 2010)
In Part 2 (Newsletter 3 in this Pura Vida series) we will think about social connection in a ‘socially distanced’ world (including the values and practices of trust and respect), and also think about the highest of all values, love (and compassion).
REFERENCES
Bolte Taylor, Jill (2009) My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey Penguin
Gilbert, Paul (2010) The Compassionate Mind: a new approach to life’s challenges Constable, London
Nussbaum, Jay (2002) Blue Road to Atlantis Bantam Books
Thiele, Bob & Weiss, George, David (1967) What a Wonderful World
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