Invoking “heart” – conversation 2 of 5

 Reading time about 5 minutes

Context

Henri Nouwen echoes Christopher Bollas (first panel discussion in this series) here: “Many voices wonder if humanity can survive its own destructive powers. As we reflect on the increasing poverty and hunger, the rapidly spreading hatred and violence within as well as between countries, and the frightening build-up of nuclear weapons systems, we come to realize that our world has embarked on a suicidal journey”. He describes our society as “a dangerous network of domination and manipulation”, with unsound values and compulsions to be important, enjoy pleasures, be noticed, and exercise power. (Nouwen, H.J.M. 1983)

 

Time set aside from hectic work lives (and invasive work technologies) is ultimately about ‘being’, about our humanity, about what Pieper calls “a condition of the soul”, about the nurturing our hearts. He calls for a “contemplative attention to things”. (Pieper, J. 1963) This also implies that the heart should be viewed as something far beyond being merely an organ that regulates the flow of blood. Thomas Cowan gives a superb explanation of the amazing physics of the heart, and also touches upon the form-making and life-giving role of the spirit in the functioning of the heart. (A subject for another long discussion!)

(Cowan, T. 2022)

Nouwen offers the following (although we could as easily have drawn insight from the Dalai Lama, Thomas Merton or any number of others seasoned in the ‘spiritual realm’):

 

Solitude

In his Way of the Heart, he taps into the ancient wisdom of the 4^th century Desert Mothers and Fathers.

In the transformational furnace or desert of solitude we are able to escape the pull of the digital world, media ‘noise’, hostile and strident argument; and become deeply aware of what is happening in our World and how best to respond. It seems counter-intuitive to become immersed in what may feel like a ‘doing nothing’ state.

Here we are not talking about taking periodic time out to leave the field of play and pause in a short retreat – in an attempt to ‘balance’ our compartmentalised work/ home/ social lives. Rather, our purpose is to seek solitude as a serious, ongoing, primary practice. In solitude we plumb the depths, struggle, discover the ‘reasons of the heart’, encounter something bigger than ourselves, learn to be calm, non-judgmental (which erases the distance between us), find beauty, and become compassionate to others.

Belgian - American poetess and novelist May Sarton once recorded that part of a real life “… is time alone in which to explore and to discover what is happening or has happened. Without the interruptions, nourishing and maddening, this life would become arid. Yet I taste it fully only when I am alone”. This meant too that “… sometimes one has simply to endure a period of depression for what it may hold of illumination if one can live through it, attentive to what it exposes or demands”.

(Sarton, M. 1992)

 

Silence as respite from words

In solitude we find silence and respite from the wordy world we inhabit and are can be sucked into all too easily. Chinese philosopher Chang Tzu (who believed that chasing after wealth and personal aggrandizement was folly): “I would like to talk to the man who has forgotten words”. (Words are used to convey ideas, and once the ideas have been grasped and understood, the words have served their purpose and may be forgotten).

If speaking words gets us involved in and tainted by the world, then silence is a pilgrimage away from that. Words and language, can mislead, confuse, and deceive. Silence guards the fire within and yields the wisest thoughts.

The fire within allows us “to offer warmth and light to lost traveller’s” that we come across on our pilgrimage. A pilgrimage that is activated because of times of solitude.

We speak too much. We are silent too seldom, too little.

Yet silence teaches us to speak with power – because in silent solitude we touch the Divine.

We need to learn (in this noisy, turbulent, harsh and strident world) to become comfortable with silence, to be blessed by silence.

In the silences that occur within conversations, speeches, counselling, and coaching interventions, we can learn to receive, soak up, digest fewer words more meaningfully, more fully - because they become imbued with presence. (Presence is elaborated upon in article 5 of this series)

“Silence of the heart is much more important than silence of the mouth”. It becomes a quality of “heart” that is grown in silence (non-judgmental, non-condemning, accepting, appreciative, embracing, loving).

(If all beliefs begin in the heart, then the heart is the place where consciousness is raised and is the start-point of discovering our interconnectedness and unity)

And in a sense, silence is a mysterious language:

Mother Teresa once said, “When I pray, I just listen.” A puzzled reporter queried her about this statement, asking “What does God say, Mother? What do you hear from God?” Mother Teresa’s response: “God says nothing. He just listens”. (Rapsas, T. 2022)

Prayer

Words can often become superfluous.

For those who pray, a prayer of the heart consists usually of just a few, simple, focused, heartfelt words. Repeated often.

“Unceasing prayer gives solitude and silence their real meaning”. (Nouwen, H. 1983)

Full of ourselves

Is it possible to carry out the practices and reach the state suggested by Nouwen? Counter-intuitively find how to see with the heart, discover a new, liberating reality?

             A student tries hard to impress his revered teacher. Constantly.

One day the teacher pours a cup of tea while the student rambles on. The tea reaches the brim of the cup and begins to overflow. The teacher continues pouring. More and more tea spills.

The student shouts out, “Teacher the cup has long been full. Stop!”

Says the teacher: “So are you. So full that there is no more room to learn”.

Maybe a pure heart is empty of ego, self has been emptied…yet whole and full of love for others? Single - ‘minded’ in this way?

Story Bridging

Story bridging is a heart process.

“The idea of bridging story is of a story that builds a bridge based on well- researched fact, truth, sensitivity to the other’s worldview, knowledge of self and inherent bias, humility, on communicating non - violently, and a genuine searching for common ground, a measure of self-emptying, and an allowing for connection beyond what is rational. Not prescribing an outcome. (When people begin to inquire together new possibilities, new ways forward begin to open up”.  (Williams, G. et al 2022))

For practitioners the preparation phase of the process begins with acknowledging a polarised relationship; followed by research and inner work in a number of areas (including mindset, visualisation, exploring the topic, the other, unearthing biases, prejudices and barriers within) and arriving at a readiness to reach out with the right intent.

Preparation may be the longest part of the story-bridging process. It is an act of love aimed at acceptance and inclusion. Quiet, alone time is an important part of this preparation phase.

                                click to enlarge

Counter-intuitively, solitude promotes connection.

There is a downside to the heart-led approach that we need to be aware of, and that is the question of transference and counter- transference, said to be present in all social-relating. “Your heart is fully transparent in all its beautiful hues and ugly blemishes.  Not only is it transparent to the other, but far more so than it is to you. What is opaque to your inner gaze is clearly visible to the gaze of the other”. We unconsciously convey what we desire from the other person (conditioned by parental, association dynamics) and this implicit communication is in fact stronger than what we actually convey verbally, explicitly. Becoming aware via self-analysis is there a worthwhile, albeit challenging endeavour. (Farah, S. 2022)

But a huge upside. The heart is what enables us to raise our consciousness and escape from a binary, dualistic system of operating and judging that is driven by ego (either/or based on difference). Instead we are enabled to move to a non-dualistic, beautiful heart-mind (and/both) where "the heart is primarily an organ of spiritual perception, a highly sensitive instrument for keeping us aligned..." with a deeper reality, with what we know in our innermost beings. (Bourgeault, C. 2008) 

https://amzn.to/3aJ8xWx

 REFLECTION QUESTIONS

 1. Where there is polarization, even hostility, how can a withdrawal into solitude be beneficial?

2.     Can the ‘way of the heart’ trump sound reasoning, logic and solid argument – and if so, why?

3.    Have you (and if so, how have you) benefitted from the experience of solitude and silence?

4.    In the Story-Bridging process, much emphasis is placed on the ‘heart-mind’. How do you apply this  in your work?

 

REFERENCES

Bourgeault, Cynthia (2008) The Wisdom Jesus. transforming heart and mind - a new perspective on Christ and His message Shambhala

Cowan, Dr Thomas, M.D. The Heart is not a Pump! You Tube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUCBEKO3IJc

Farah, Stephen (2022) A tool to identify your transference: understanding your unconscious communication in relationships Centre of Applied Jungian Studies (CAJS), 1^st May, 2022

https://appliedjung.com/identify-your-transference/

Nouwen, Henri J.M. (1983) The Way of the Heart Ballantine Books, NY

Pieper, Josef (1963) Leisure. The Basis of Culture Pantheon Books Inc, Random House

Rapsas, Tom (2022) A Crash Course in the Language of God Patheos 25 August, 2022

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/wakeupcall/2022/08/a-crash-course-in-the-language-of-god/

Sarton, May (1992) Journal of a Solitude W.W. Norton & Company

 

 

Shared mind – conversation 3 of 5

 

Reading time about 6 minutes

Developing beautiful minds

Ancient Greek ‘Eunoia’ meant “well mind, beautiful thinking” (and of course, this facilitates bridging between speaker and listener). 

One of the late Edward de Bono’s lesser known and read books, How to Have a Beautiful Mind, develops this thought and addresses conversational questions on how to agree, disagree differ, be interesting, polite, responsive, listen, question, reframe, handle diversions, interruptions. He also delves into concepts, parallel thinking, emotions, values, information and knowledge, opinions, attitudes, nature of topics.

De Bono acknowledges that it is very challenging to find points of agreement given our built in, limited ‘logic bubbles’ and our need to be right. He advises the development of these skills and enjoying the use of the mind in conversations. (de Bono, E. 2004)

Consciously attending to, placing emphasis on, aligning our intent and energy with an idea, feeling, cause that is meaningful and worthwhile, is “as important in the handling of our lives as in learning to walk or how to talk” (Keyserling, H. 1938)

The nature of our thinking defines our world and meditating on an idea keeps the mind thinking beautifully (including subsequently in our unconscious). We can choose to focus on higher purposes and qualities. (Ferrucci, P. 2004)

At this point an important understanding is that “thought emerges not merely in the context of, but rather through personal relations”. (Hobson, P. 2004). This leads us into exploring the deep, inspiring concept of the mind developed by Dan Siegel:

How should we describe and define the ‘Mind’?

If the mind is where we process choice and change (based on our relationship to past, present and future) then for ourselves, our planet we should have good knowledge of what the mind is. Dan Siegel pushes the boundaries of our understanding by proposing this working definition:

 “An embodied and relational, self-organizing emergent process that regulates the flow of energy and information both within and between”.

 It is not confined to the brain, the body, the self - but a dynamic, complex, driving-to-be-integrated, living (social and neural) system. By nature, mind is part of David Bohm’s quantum explicate and implicate realities, enabling us to be conscious (insightful and aware); the basis of our health, well-being, resilience and compassion; and “arises in part, from a social field outside of one’s control”.

 In a 2017 book I referred to Dan Siegel’s Wheel of Awareness that explains our incredible self-organising and integrating energy and information flow system, the mind. We have amazing capacities to: 

· perceive and experience the world ‘outside’ of ourselves

· monitor, use and regulate what is happening in our body, and its wisdom - heart rate, hunger, respiration, joints, oesophagus (interoception)

· make full use of our senses - sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste and our prioceptive sense of motion

· tune into our mental activities - thought, feeling, belief, memory, images, attitudes, hopes, dreams, desires, imagination. We are reflective beings.

· be aware of and experience our sense of relatedness (to other people, strangers, all of humanity and life– past present, future). We are social beings.

Without engaging with this wheel of awareness how on earth can we manage ourselves moment to moment and over time, begin to understand our own realities, connect with and intimately relate to others, play our part in interconnected life at large?! (Williams, G. 2017)

                                        click to enlarge

One of the ideas invoked for me by the Wheel of Awareness is what Louis Cozolino calls the “social synapse”. He draws an analogy between people and neurons in the brain and the spaces between. In the same way that synapses connect neurons throughout (the wider ‘brain’ and as in Siegel’s Wheel of Awareness and all the senses, activities, interconnections we enjoy) so are people connected by social synapses – that connect, ‘tune in’, communicate, inform, experience reciprocity, stimulate, develop and regulate the individual and shared mind.  “When it comes right down to it, doesn’t communication between people consist of the same building blocks? When we smile, wave, and say hello, these behaviours are sent through the space between us. These messages are received by our senses and converted into chemical signals within our nervous systems…which generate…new behaviours that, in turn, transmit messages back across the social synapse. The social synapse is the space between us – a space filled with seen and unseen messages and the medium through which we are combined into larger organisms such as families, tribes, societies and the human species as a whole…” (Cozolino, L. 2006)

I came across this Chinese character for listening. Whether this is accurate or not doesn’t matter. For me the notion does capture the power of awareness, the realm of consciousness, the breadth of the concept of ‘mind’, and causes us to think of listening in a much deeper way:

 

click to enlarge

In a lost and lonely world, where people are more disconnected than ever before, the power of deep, compassionate listening assumes incredible importance. Listening is an act of love.

The mind operates top-down (existing mental models) and bottom up (new sensing, experiencing in the present moment)

The mind also allows for both left-mode perceptions (categorising, case-effect logic) and right-mode (bigger picture, interconnections, context, concepts) and is quantum and can accept that space and time, matter and energy are not different in many ways. In terms of relationship and the ‘between mind’ the flow of energy and information allows us to (non-logically) “feel felt” when another is attuned and present – akin to noosphere – and shaped and changed both neurologically and socially.

Creation of meaning, including spiritual meaning is developed by the mind

One purpose of our mind is to integrate is Siegel’s view, the ‘why?’ of mind, which fits with our questing to discover who we are, why we exist, what difference we may make, a consciousness-raising means to us becoming aware of a sense of the lived life and meaning, the emergence of kindness and compassion in our being. Information and energy flows regulated by the mind is “a fundamental part of a complex system bounded neither by skull nor skin”. Nine functions of integration identified by Siegel, that inform our being and doing, are: 

1.body regulation

2. attuned communication with self and other

3. emotional balance

4. response (pause) flexibility

5. soothing fear

6. insight (connecting past, present and future with self - understanding)

7. empathy

8. morality (higher than ourselves)

9. intuition

He sees integration as the basis of our health, well-being, and of the world’s wisdom traditions. (Refer to the overlap with Louis Cozolino’s thinking outlined above). That may be fostered by mindfulness training. Be a bridge between science and spirituality. The way we learn to live together – or interpersonal integration. (His new book, launched in September 2022 delves deeper into how we are "intraconnected" within our individual bodies, our human family, and within all of nature. (Siegal, D. 2022))

Being present and aware leads to a raised consciousness and a deeper knowing, which promotes neural integration – the basis of healthy self-regulation. And a better linking of our top-down (constructor) and bottom-up (conduit) functioning.

There is inexplicable power in the between and within mind. “In some cases, research has now revealed that if the timing of an experience is right, we can actually pass such changes on to the next generation by way of our eggs and sperm (Yehuda, et al 2014; Youngson and Whitelaw, 2012; Meaney, 2010)”.

A trauma experienced by a mother induces trauma in an infant in the womb and also facilitates natural adaptive behaviours. (Siegel, D. 2017)

Escaping our normally limited notions of self, time, spirit/ energy, the physical brain, individual mind and so on – Siegel’s concept of the mind – an emergent, self-organising, embodied, relational process that arises from and regulates energy and information flow within and between – is hugely liberating, inspiring and healing!

If the soul or essence of a person lives on when a person dies, an aspect of the relational, deep interconnectivity. Siegel suggests that we “may have an ‘eternal imprint’ and that we can imagine “that energy is the fundamental essence of the universe”. This means that there is huge spiritual possibility and importance in his view of Mind. I love the heading of one of his chapters: “Humankind: Can We Be Both?”!  

Can we be both human and kind?

As “integration of the self enables the differentiation of an individual ‘me’ with an interconnected ‘we’”, being accepting, respectful, kind, compassionate are natural outcomes. Not anticipating and being anxious about the future, and not regretting nor resenting the past, but being aware of the present facilitates these characteristics. If we let go of having a fully separate identity, we must surely become far less prone to narcissistic, self-serving behaviour. Have a more beautiful mind.

Siegel cites Einstein:

“A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security”.

             (Einstein, 1972)

Joseph Campbell gives one of the best views of our inner struggle/ journey to reach a point of being fully conscious, which parallel’s Siegel’s approach to full understanding, awareness and integration. A consciousness shared with humanity, animals, plants …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE8ciMkayVM  (Campbell, J. 2022)

 

PANEL QUESTIONS

 

1.     Do you think that the pressures of living in our society today society (fragmentation, technology leading the way, bad political behaviour, breakdown of supply chains, scarcity of essentials, conflict, trauma, lethargy and withdrawal) have the effect of steering us to a place where we ‘live down to the expectations of others’ and diminish our own power and willingness to act proactively? 

2.     How do we change that mindset? 

3.    How do you believe Dan Siegel’s notion of the mind can enhance the way we see, feel, understand and do things, relate to others, reimagine and shape the future? For example, by using and leveraging his Wheel of Awareness?

REFERENCES

Campbell, Joseph (2022) Interviewed by Bill Moyers: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth Episode 1 ‘ The Hero’s Adventure”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE8ciMkayVM

Cozolino, L (2006) The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: attachment and the developing social brain Norton & Company, Inc. NY

de Bono, Edward (2004) How to Have a Beautiful Mind Vermilion London

Einstein, E. (1950) Letter in the New York Times (29 March, 1972) and the New York Post (28 November, 1972)

Hobson, Peter (2004) The Cradle of Thought: exploring the origins of thinking Pan Books

Ferrucci, Piero (2004) What we may be: techniques for psychological and spiritual growth through psychosynthesis Jeremy P. Tarcher/ Penguin NY

Keyserling, Herman (1938) From Suffering to Fulfillment Selwyn & Blount, London

Siegal, Daniel J. MD (2022) IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) W.W.Norton & Company

Siegel, Daniel J, MD (2017) Mind: a journey to the heart of being human W.W. Norton & Company

Siegel, Dan J, MD (2017) http://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/wheel_of_awareness_thanks

Williams, Graham (2017) Building Your BounceBackAbility  Porat Jacobsen

Talking Cures – conversation 4 of 5

 

Reading time about 9 minutes

('Talking Cure includes listening, conveying, holding)

Feeding each other’s minds

In Zeldin’s view, Socrates was a teacher who wouldn’t teach!

Instead, he was the first known conversationalist, believing in dialogue because it discounted argument in favour of politeness, tact, soul-shared learning. “Individuals could not be intelligent on their own… they needed someone else to stimulate them”. (Zeldin, T. 1998)

We depend on each other in many ways, feed each other in many ways. An ancient story told by Piero Ferrucci (Ferrucci, p. 2004):

 

“A man was given permission to visit Heaven and Hell while he was still alive. He went first to Hell, and there he saw a great gathering of people seated at long tables set with rich and abundant food. Yet these people were starving and weeping.

The visitor saw the reason: their spoons and forks were longer than their arms, so that they were unable to bring food to their mouths.

Next the man went to Heaven, where he saw the same setting: long tables richly garnished with food of every kind. Here, too, the people had spoons and forks longer than their arms and were likewise unable to feed themselves. Yet they were joyful and well fed. But they were not trying to feed themselves.

They were feeding each other”. 

Not just food, but energy, beauty, variety, thoughts ….

In these times we continue to be swamped by information, numerous sources and channels, yet struggle to build a picture of what is truly happening, struggle to unearth truth. Fake news, propaganda, rumour, distortion, lies, conflicting world views, selective censoring and silence practiced by the media don't help the situation! So independent thinking and dialogue rooted in objective moral value, non dualistic thinking and open-mindedness blended with prudence and a well-functioning critical faculty becomes more and more valuable. Hopefully paving a way to meaningful conversation exchanges.

Aspects of Dialogue

David Bohm’s concept of dialogue is rooted in notion of shared exploration and discovery, and informs much of the dynamics of circle work (Bohm, D. 1996):

Dialogue in action: Zubin Mehta and Placido Domingo in concert, feeling into each other:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc_24Ya5Y4E

The aspiration of dialogue is a free flow of meaning, a raising of consciousness, building of relationships and enhanced communication in a group that is a microcosm of society. (Bohm’s call for dialogue is wonderful, but his method cumbersome (high group numbers, protracted period of time, frequent meeting, lack of agenda or facilitation) hence our preference for circle work based on the same principles but a different methodology)

ON COMMUNICATION

Because thoughts or ideas are notoriously difficult to define and largely misrepresented and misunderstood, they may be maintained and leveraged by a small collective. However, sound dialogue has the potential to glue together a fragmented humanity by throwing light on an idea. In dialogue, even assumptions and frictions between conversationalists, and misperceived intent through poor listening, holds the possibility generating new insights, greater understanding and new meaning.

The process must not aim at coming to conclusions, solving problems, taking action, but building better representations of ideas. And be trusted because thought grows, continuously develops itself.

The aim is big. Consider that built up over centuries is an independent, unconscious pool of know-how that far exceeds the limitation of individuals - collective representations fed to us from this thought pool are not true reality, but polluted reality. So, it behoves us to deepen our discernment and consider ideas (givens) in a new way. And that we cannot continue to try and solve our internal or relational ‘problems’ in technical problem-solving manner.   (Think about the range of misunderstandings, misrepresentations, perceptions that are raised by different people on basic givens or ideas – yet the ideas continue to be non – neutral, accepted once boxed into one’s own definition only, give rise to ‘problems’ to be solved instead of ideas to be changed.

Capitalism. Communism. Democracy. Eugenics. Elitism. Artificial Intelligence. Abundance. Positive thinking. Scientific expertise. Black Lives Matter. Gender bias. Social distancing. Collective good…)

Walls block listening. Separate and fragment. Through dialogue, recognising similarities and differences regarding an idea may highlight something new to those engaged – a shared, new creation may emerge, overcoming even unconscious blocking or interference).

 

ON DIALOGUE

Society lacks coherent shared meaning making it likely to fall apart in many areas. Dialogue allows for a stream of meaning that flows among, through and between us. It’s about sharing and grasping meaning (bridges) – NOT solving, analysing, proving, winning as we defend beliefs, assumptions, worldviews – and avoid uncomfortable cognitive dissonance (walls).

By nature, we tend to set up (and cast in concrete) independent entities – nations, religions, disciplines, ideas – which are outcomes of our thought process. We tend towards self - interest, believe truth is as we see it, groupings (because we need connection and validation).

If we pended our assumptions, beliefs then through dialogue we can allow them to dissolve, grow towards new perceptions and sensitivity, and participatory consciousness can happen.

THE NATURE OF COLLECTIVE THOUGHT

In a troubled, conflicted world, new thought creeps in and prevails over us all because most of our thought is collective, shaped by influences and what we experience. We “see the world according to the general collective representations circulating around or society and culture …”

(One can here sense why rumour, propaganda, misinformation on a grand scale, menticide programmes can be so powerful and effective. Our challenge is of course to change collective (mis)representations in the right way)  

THE PROBLEM AND THE PARADOX

We face a multitude of new, big, complex ‘problems’ today and feel that they require ‘discussion’ and the “putting forward” of ‘solutions’ (the Greek meaning of solution is “put forward”). Into our endeavours and without questioning the ideas we discuss, we bring our presuppositions, assumption, understandings, definitions of parts and relationships.

Relational (individual, group, international), psychological, societal problems can’t be treated as problems. They are paradoxical and our own individual paradoxes are a deeply rooted, inherent aspect of ourselves. Vices are unsolvable paradoxes.

THE OBSERVER AND THE OBSERVED

“Normally we don’t see that our assumptions are affecting the nature of our observations”. They are a lens. A sort of ‘observer’. And all of our ‘ideas’ are pre-wrapped for us by the wider collective. (Here alone is a good justification for Bohm’s notion of dialogue)

SUSPENSION, THE BODY, AND PROPRIOCEPTION

Suspending judgment and suspension before acting is suppressing thoughts or feelings until a right response can be made – for example awareness of one’s aggression allows unfiltered observation, an ability to lighten and balance a potentially wrong response. (Think mindful awareness as a brake to support anger management).

Like the body, thought has movement, is a process, an element in an interconnected system, a set of reflexes which may be liable to warning/ alert, insight and change.

Proprioception is a sense or self-perception of movement, force, body position mediated by neurons located in our muscles, tendons, joints – an extension of our mind.

Clearly in dialogue suspension, the body and proprioception can play a positive role.

PARTICIPATORY THOUGHT AND THE UNLIMITED

Thoughts are always a work in progress. Ideas under construction. And dialogue fits under the heading of participatory conversation towards collective meaning making.

Indigenous cultures have long adopted such a way of communicating and being.

This has enhanced their bond to nature, their deep understanding of our connectivity.

 

Simple Principles of dialogue

Dialogue is then an inquiry into the process of collective thinking. Bohm believed that such a form of exchanging ideas about ideas was of absolutely crucial relevance to transforming culture and setting it free from misinformation and misrepresentation.

 ·    Dialogue occurs in an empty space not limited by aims, agendas, need for conclusions, decisions. So we stay free.

·     Every participant listens, suspends judgment, does not attack ideas. Suspends assumptions. Doesn’t impede the flow of the dialogue.

·   Every participant is transparent, honest, open as possible and does not hold back in order to be ‘politically correct’

·      Ideas become shared and built-upon by all. Synergy becomes a regular dynamic.

Dialogue moves us from being hate-based to being heart-based.

In dialoguing we see each other through, don’t see through each other. There is a sense that in the process of true dialogue we lose self to the collective.

Dynamics of Circle Work

Circles are NOT places for holding meetings and debates.

They have been around in many cultures (historical, modern and indigenous) and many applications for many years in many forms. In our process we include as many Dialogue aspects and thinking as is feasible. https://culturescan.biz/the-magic-of-perspective-the-culturescan-process/

Tasks are carried out (outperforming all other setups in our view) by a small group of people. But the power of circles lies in the building of relationships, being a crucible for shared leadership, a space where people take on responsibility in a new way.

(Peter Block answered the question “In one sentence, what are the essential underlying factors or dynamics that give rise to the spirit and power of these circles?” in this way: “A fully functioning circle welcomes strangers. The members refrain from offering help and advice. Participants are heard for who they are. They receive affirmation that there is nothing wrong with them. This makes leadership as we know it, obsolete. Members are present for each other”) (Block, P. 2020).

We characterise circles as a:

 

·         Container. A unique social construct, a safe and confidential space

·         Incubator. A cultivation and nurturing of the whole person (physical, intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual), deeper mindfulness, deeper relating, and thinking with a bigger, more beautiful mind. And of a shared emergent future

·         Relationship builder. Where people can be. And be together. Belong. Experience presence and compassion. Circle participation equips individuals to connect across all diversities with love, compassion, commitment, respect and honesty. Without deception of self nor of others).

·         Conversation facilitator. Deep conversations happen. Presence is choosing to be fully in the present moment in terms of one’s sensory, relational, intuitive and interconnectivity realities, and to be attuned to others, be open, vulnerable and be there for them. Dan Siegel: “Presence is the portal for integration, and integration is the basis of health and well-being… But is also fully relational, honouring the personal self of me and the interconnected self of we ...” (Siegel, D. 2018) Stories – the currency of meaning – is exchanged.

·         Learning space. The learning space provided by circle methodology (and reinforcing work conducted outside of circle activities) stimulates both learning and new ways of learning and allows for a bridging of the individuals and group’s past and the future. This often leads to the letting go of ‘baggage’ that has been limiting growth, and an embracing of an expanding of every aspect of their personhood – intellectual, social, emotional and spiritual.

·         Enlarger. The experience of circle work, over time, leads to the emergence of people who have ‘enlarged’. For different people this may be in terms of physical embodiment, bigger and more beautiful thinking, emotional and social intelligence, or even a transcendent state – appreciating connectivity, understanding capacities, possessing character virtues, and developing maturities (cognitive, social, emotional, ethical and spiritual). The Antony Gormley sculpture hints at this emergence.

             (Williams, G. 2022)

We must never diminish the power and meaning of circle work.

The world in which we live is characterised by social isolation and uprooted values – causes of widespread anxiety, depression and trauma. Circles offer a way out of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5IX-np5fE   Johann Hari

In Native American Indigenous culture, circles themselves were considered sacred and imbued with divine presence. Now that’s a non-Western, non-egoic way of thinking!  (Except that as Jung has said, “The most powerful religious symbol is the circle. The circle is one of the great primordial images of mankind, that in considering the symbol of the circle we are analysing the self”. (Campbell, J. 2022) Each participant when given the power to speak or listen becomes part of that sacredness

 

A very recent email: “My name is Anna, I’m a journalist and teacher from Moscow, Russia. I’m writing just to say million thanks for your remarkable presentation about Story Circles on «Storify your culture» conference this May.

I’ve started organizing and facilitating story circles with my colleagues, friends and family and each time the results are beyond all the expectations. It’s a truly invaluable tool which deepens the relationships, takes them to the next level and helps gain into myriads of insights. So inspiring and uplifting!”

 

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Circles are much, much more than solving problems or completing tasks. They are places where:  

 

·         people attend to each other in a deeply spiritual, transformative way

·         a shared thought-pool emerges, as does real community

·         a raising of consciousness happens through the sharing our stories

 

Closing Thoughts

There is little doubt that the times in which we live are hostile, divisive and fragmenting at all levels (individuals, relationships, communities, organisations, nations) - which trend is fuelled by propaganda and lies. The good news is that we have the minds, characteristics, capacities and technologies/ methods to develop true dialogue and bring healing and new life to our society.

“What happens first, in any “community”, is that those who would participate in it listen. But if we would listen, we must also tell; and if we would tell our stories, we need places where we can tell and listen.  In this mutuality between telling and listening, between speaking and hearing, lies the deepest spiritual significance of mutual-aid groups (sometimes erroneously termed “self-help groups”), like Alcoholics Anonymous.

Those wrestling with spiritual dilemmas do not need answers but presence - permission to confront the dilemma and struggle with it aloud”. (Kurtz, E and Ketcham, K. 1994)

“It’s coming from the circle that we are each other’s medicine” – Professor Ruby Mendenhall, University of Illinois 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. How important is deep conversation, true dialogue and the building of connections and relationships, of esteem and belonging, in the world that we inhabit today?

2.  In your situation is your leadership ready to let go and allow employees (or community members or circle participants) to freely participate in confidential circles and assume responsibility for implementing suggestions/ recommendations? 

 3. In your view how does circle work differ from more “left-brain” approaches to problems or ideas (for example systems thinking, agile) and what do you believe are the advantages or disadvantages of these differences?

 

REFERENCES

Block, Peter (2020) Leadership and the Small Group Common Good Collective https://commongood.cc/reader/leadership-and-the-small-group-by-peter-block/ 

Bohm, David (1996) On Dialogue (edited by Lee Nichol) Routledge, London and New York

Campbell, Joseph (2022) Interviewed by Bill Moyers: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth. Episode 6 ‘Masks of Eternity’ 23 August 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g9RVCPePDk

Ferrucci, Piero (2004) What We May Be: techniques for psychological and spiritual growth through psychosynthesis Jeremy P. Tarcher/ Penguin

Hari, Johann (2019) This Could Be Why You Are Depressed or Anxious 11 October, 2019 Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5IX-np5fE

Kurtz, Ernest and Ketcham, Katherine (1994) The Spirituality of Imperfection: storytelling and the journey to wholeness Bantam Books

Siegel, Daniel J. MD (2018) Aware: the science and practice of presence (The ground-breaking meditation practice) Perigee www.drdansiegel.com/resources/wheel_of_awareness/

Zeldin, Theodore (1998) An Intimate History of Humanity Vintage

Williams, Graham (2022) The Use of Circle Work by Modern - Day Leaders Handout for Storify Your Culture Conference, 2022