Friday, April 17, 2020

BE STILL (Pura Vida: 6)

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Navigating crises with wonder may be a story for our times” – Jeffrey Davis
A guide has entered this life in silence. His message is only heard in silence… Every thought is buried in your heart; He will reveal them one by one, in silence.” - Rumi


Being still requires us to opt out of carrying frenetic workplace activity into our homes when a lockdown is enforced

Honestly assess your level of work-a-holism on this scale developed at the University of Bergen, Norway. Or perhaps better still ask your partner or a trusted friend: (Place cursor on picture and left click to enlarge)




It's good to take time out frequently (even if only for short spells), to rest, smell the roses, pamper yourself, reflect, muster inner resources, refresh, recharge, maintain perspective, recover your passion for your meaning and purpose, remain true to your authentic selves, slow down your brain activity and lengthen your brain waves (frequency and amplitude), preserve and contain your energy... 



Being still goes hand in hand with silence

We often hide behind a screen of talk (live or on our cell phones) and avoid being alone. 
On the silent retreats I’ve been on, I’ve noticed that the sudden switch from being busy and social to being in solitude (alone and silent) can induce tears soon after retreatants arrive. I think this is because being still and in silence, if we are not used to it, allows unconscious material to emerge, and exposes us to our inner world. We have entered a silence beyond silence.  Is Sufi mystic and poet Rumi right when he says “A guide has entered this life in silence. His message is only heard in silence… Every thought is buried in your heart; He will reveal them one by one, in silence”?

So after this initial shock to the system, the beneficial effects of solitude start to arrive ….
Psychologist and a leading pioneer of psychosynthesis (the intersection of spiritual and psychological growth), Piero Ferrucci, describes true inner silence as “a state of intense and at the same time relaxed alertness, in which we are luminously and quietly present and light. At times, insights flow into this receptive space we have created. In a flash, we realize, with clarity, truths previously unknown to us … The cultivation of silence has an immense therapeutic value”.

We need to make friends with silence.

Being still is enabled when we are content and at peace with our lot in life

We tend to complain readily, plug in to our default setting of negative response. 
Maybe understanding that there is always someone in a worse situation makes us sit up and cease complaining as much as we do.

The Hebrew Tree of Sorrows story:
Ultra-orthodox Hassidic pilgrims argued about who experienced the most hardship, endured the greatest suffering. This would give them the right to complain.
So their spiritual leader told them about the Tree of Sorrows.
Come the Day of Judgment, each person will be allowed to hang all their suffering and misery on a branch of the tree. Then after hanging their suffering and misery they are to walk around the tree. Slowly.
And as they walk, they have to search for and find a set of sufferings that someone else has hung on the tree. A set that they would rather have than their own
When everyone has walked around the tree, nobody wants anyone else’s suffering. They all decide to keep their own. 
They all depart wiser than before they circled the Tree of Sorrows.

Realising what others go through, known or hidden from us, is reason enough to opt out of a victim position, and be still. Be content.


Being still happens when we are suddenly struck by awe and wonder (of beauty, music, a work of art, a presence …) 

Wonderment causes us to drop or let go of any frenetic, anxious, fearful state we may be in, and become captured, enraptured by the ecstatic, joyful, sublime.

When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering, and dancing in the breeze. (William Wordsworth)   

Creativity consultant Jeffrey Davis, writing in Psychology Today, suggests that “Wonder is experiencing something anew”. He believes that “navigating crises with wonder may be a story for our times … A wondrous mind-set can help people plunged into crisis navigate turbulence with more possibility than panic”. (Davis, J. 2012)

Wonder has a refreshing and healing quality. Beethoven: “Music is the electric soil in which the spirit lives, breathes and creates”. Apollo was the god of both medicine and music.  From the Mozart Effect by Don Campbell: “What is this magical medium that moves, enchants, energizes and heals us?" (Campbell, D. 2001)


Being still is an antidote to negative stress

Being still and silent brings calm.

When you need to chase away, get rid of, let go of unwanted thoughts, feelings, moods - take a bit of time out to apply a DBT (dialectic behaviour therapy) technique of self-soothing. In a short space of time, sooth any negative emotions by using each of your 5 senses. Maybe spray a perfume that you like, and/or walk in the outside garden for a few minutes, and/or look at a painting, and/or play some soothing music, and/or light a candle...  

The Tora and Old Testament injunction, “Be still and know that I am God” was written during a time of trouble, crisis and war, and the Hebrew word translated as ‘still’ is ‘rapha’, meaning to drop, to let go. 


Being still and working on our hardwiring to take advantage of our brain plasticity is an opportunity (even a necessity) to build hardiness to change and adversity in areas such as positive attitude, adaptability, proactivity …

It is in times of mindful reflection and meditation when we can accept ourselves with compassion, accept our pains and our pleasures, our fears, worries and regrets, and our present situation - without judgment and for what they are. Then within us a deeper awareness emerges, and we see and embrace life’s challenges and opportunities with new verve.

An educated man sought the simplicity of Zen awareness. He visited a Master for help. The Master poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. 
The man watched aghast as the Master kept on pouring and the tea continued to overflow onto the table, off the table onto the floor. And the pouring continued. At last the exasperated visitor cried out “Stop. No more! The cup cannot hold any more”. “Just like this cup” said the Master “You are so full of your own worries and analyses, that you cannot achieve awareness. First you must empty your cup”. (Williams, G and Haarhoff, D. 2017)

With this newfound awareness we start to become contemplatives in action. Revisit our worldviews. Unearth and address unconscious biases. Reframe limiting beliefs. Step-change our effectiveness. Reinforce disciplined practices. 

UK research shows that leaders’ practice of meditation, walking, eating and breath-work  “… led to statistically significant improvements in the leaders’ capacities for resilience, collaboration and leading in complexity; three vital capacities for leading in the 21st century”. (Reitz, M. 2016)    


Being still means carrying a morning ‘cushion meditation practice’ or ‘closed-eyes meditation’ into the rest of the day (‘open eyes meditation’)

A time of meditation brings about silence. Being continually mindful ushers in a state where our ‘stillness’ is infused with necessary activity and not the other way around: where we are hyper-busy and if we’re lucky, then our busy-ness may be punctuated by the occasional stillness.

On my computer I have a mindful clock/ bell that is set to ring every hour. This ‘alarm’ (recommended by Thich Nhat Hanh), is a reminder to slow down, pause, be calm, come back to stillness. (Google it).  By the way, focusing on the sound of a Tibetan bell induces a deep state of relaxation, brings us quickly into the present moment. Into inner stillness.

We need both disciplined, regularly scheduled times of being still + a developing state of mindfulness and living in the present 


References
Campbell, Don (2001) The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power of Music to Heal the Body, Strengthen the Mind, and Unlock the Creative Spirit Harper Collins
Davis, Jeffrey (2012) Something startling this way comes: navigating crises with wonder may be the story of our times Published 29th October, 2012 by Jeffrey Davis, M.A. in Tracking Wonder, and in Psychology Today
Reitz, Megan (2016) Mindfulness for leaders: new research shows sustained benefit Training Zone Dec 2016 
Williams, Graham and Haarhoff, Dorian (2017) The Halo and the Noose: the power of story telling and story listening in business life HeartSpace Publications




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