The Touch of Hands Alex Proimos CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE
“… meaning that makes life worth living may be nothing more than a moment’s realisation, a sensation, such as the touch of your baby’s skin …” – psychologist Thomas Moore
“In a time of crisis, more than anything, we need to be loved …. Your tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has passed” – author Gary Chapman
“Everywhere I looked, I saw... Love's touch” – author Shahram Shiva
Once there was a boy who had no immunity against disease and lived inside a plastic bubble.
Totally isolated. Quarantined. Alone.
Everything that he consumed or read or played with were given to him through a specially sealed opening, by people who wore gloves and had first sanitized what they passed to him.
Otherwise he would be contaminated and die instantly.
As he deteriorated and it became clear that he was in fact dying, he asked if he could reach for and touch his father outside of the plastic bubble. He knew that this would mean instant death.
But he reached outside of his bubble and touched his father’s hand ….
(A 1976 movie starring John Travolta: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble)
Does the new ‘norm’ include absence of physical touch?
Management consultants, coaches, business analysts and commentators, journalists, leaders, (and well-nigh everyone) are saying that ‘the future of work is here’. That ‘this is the new normal’. (The word ‘normal’ became popular in England around about 1840.
It came to be almost-synonymous with words like average, ordinary, common-place,
standard). How things will be here on in.
The drawn-out Covid-19 pandemic, lock-downs, the work-from-home situation and distributed teams that suddenly captured us (allied to the ongoing trend towards technology development and the Fourth Industrial Revolution) has ushered in these sentiments. More data. More digital. Less touch.
An article on the dehumanising dangers of a shift to more permanent government control, and a stampede to remote working (albeit tempered by talk of hybrid workplaces – a combination of virtual and real, clicks and bricks) may be found at;
I believe strongly that this ‘new norm’ is not inevitable. Nor is it desirable. (At home, in the office, nor socially)
We should pause and think deeply about lurching into a “more efficient” way of organisational-life. One that is characterised by social distancing and high-tech.
If wrongly handled, if high-tech isn’t balanced by high-touch, then such a culture could expose an organisation’s employees, customers, suppliers and other stakeholders to a colder, less welcoming “place of work”, peopled by employees who have real and perceived feelings of separation, isolation. alienation, loneliness, and psychological insecurity. Even if they attempt to hide these feelings. We allow this continued distancing at our peril, especially during times when employees may be experiencing uncertainty, confusion, and other strong emotions.
(We should also not forget that digital connections cannot replace live connections. Digital connections are far more easily broken, avoided, or replaced).
It goes without saying that touch remains as important as ever at home, especially with our children.
We need to shift the narrative
Whatever the efficacy or intent of the regulated wearing
of masks and gloves, and maintaining of social distance – the story that is being
told, received and believed (including in our unconscious), is one of threat and fear of
others who may infect and harm us.
This is not rocket science. Over time as we
continue such behaviour, spread the ‘story’, and some embrace it as a part of their
“new norm”, this story could be adopted, reinforced and embedded in our belief
and value systems.
There is also the possibility of it spilling over
from the general and reinforcing specific, existing beliefs and biases related
to ethnicity, economic, language and other differences. (I recently came across the term "stranger-anxiety"!)
Prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, information and
communications technology was resulting in a measure of social isolation, and impacting
on meaningful community and relationship building. This trend was set to
increase with the advent of the Fourth Industrial Revolution (including
robotics, artificial intelligence, fifth generation telecommunications), and
impact further on attention spans, isolation and loneliness. The trend may well
have been hastened by the arrival of Covid-19.
Humankind has continuously adapted and evolved as
social beings who group together for protection and advancement reasons. Closeness
and physical proximity is part of our “DNA”, beneficial to our physical immune
systems, and our emotional, social and spiritual well-being.
We need to beware of losing touch. Begin to tell a
different story – one of connection not separation, one of closeness not
distance, one of compassion not fear.
Live communication is a function of the words we
exchange. AND how we use and ‘read’ body language, expressions, voice tone,
pitch, volume, our matching and mirroring, and the activation of mirror neurons
during conversations.
Digital communications reduce this scope and the depth
that we need. And the dynamics of group conversations, for example on Zoom, may
well evoke a different type of fatigue – one that is connected to our being
deprived of what live interactions provide for our well-being.
We need to stand up and prevent damage to our personhood, and make good where we can in line with the Hebrew concept tikkun olam - "repair the world". Touch is part of our inheritance and should form part of our legacy.
The true narrative we tell and live must address the importance of physical touch, and how to preserve it.
How important is physical touch?
The story of the boy in the plastic bubble reminds us that we are not meant not to be sub-human. We crave physical and emotional connection, acceptance, and belonging.
“The sense of touch is the first bodily sense developed in an embryo. And our skin becomes the biggest sensory organ. It covers the whole surface of our body. Our skin is made up of millions of highly sensitive sensors, who immediately tell us when something is happening to our skin. Think of how a little breeze feels like, a drop of sweat running down your forehead, an ant crawling over your toes. Psychologists tell us that no mammal can develop properly without contact. Physiotherapists notice how negative feelings can be released through a massage. A gentle touch on our shoulder, our back, or our stomach can generate feelings of well-being. But it can also release tears, when one realizes for how long one has not been touched”. (Steiner, R.P. 2020)
Children, some more than others, explore and discover through touch. A torturer will deprive his prisoner of normal sensory experiences, using means such as isolation, blindfolding, violent contact, The building of our immunity to disease requires touch.
In what ways do we unconsciously punish those who are different from ourselves (including the marginalised, and those we fear or don’t understand because they are different)? Often by withholding warm eye contact, touch that shows concern, acceptance, inclusion?
Part of our basic, fundamental human nature is to touch and be touched. To together experience ‘face to face’ interaction, laughter, setting sunsets or forest walks, holding hands and singing, hugging, an encouraging back pat, a consoling touch, wiping away another’s tear. There is healing power in touch. Touch settles and calms, reassures, conveys care, facilitates relationship building, psychological safety, and Ubuntu.
(We need not concern ourselves in this article with the appropriateness or taboo of touch in specific and different cultural, religious, social and workplace settings. We are contemplating touch in general terms)
Touch can be a tool of mindful presence, emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion. Deaf and blind Helen Keller used her senses of smell and touch to feel, experience, ‘see’ and ‘hear’ others, nature, and music.
Psychologist Matthew Hertenstein’s experimental research on touch shows that “… we come equipped with an ability to send and receive emotional signals solely by doing so. Participants communicated eight distinct emotions—anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, sympathy, happiness and sadness—with accuracy rates as high as 78 percent”. Pediatrics, Psychology, and Psychiatry Professor Tiffany Field's “… research has revealed that a person giving a massage experiences as great a reduction in stress hormones as the person on the receiving end. ‘Studies have shown that a person giving a hug gets just as much benefit as a person being hugged’, she adds”. (Chillot, R. 2013)
Leonardo da Vinci included the sensation of touch when he said, “The five senses are the ministers of the soul”.
How do we feed our basic need for touch?
If we accept the importance of touch to humans, we should explore every way in which physical proximity and freedom of contact may be facilitated in our own ‘new norm’ society. We do not have to accept any trends towards high tech that are not accompanied by high touch. We don’t need a greater compliance and process-efficiency that smothers or hampers human needs. Such trends have a great potential to negatively impact on motivation and performance.
Some ways that people can ‘touch’ each other (in physical and non-physical ways) and communicate acceptance, facilitate bonding, overcome barriers of difference, forge greater inclusion, a feeling of belonging, and psychological safety in the workplace, are:
- When gathering have regular checking-in, sharing of feelings as well as facts, and introduce ‘slow’ break-up protocols to meetings
- Have fewer people attend meetings. As a leader, it pays off having more one-on-one interactions - where people learn to open up as trust is built. And where personal feelings and needs may be more easily discussed (This practice becomes even more important when conversing with someone diverse in race, age, level, role... and where reaching those stuck in their own “bubbles” is necessary)
- Where rules of social distancing are mandatory and unavoidable, then ensure that this is applied in a common-sense manner – and people know that the practice is necessary but not preferred
- Learn how to accept from, and to discern when and how to give touch to - those who are emotionally receptive
- Whenever new technology is introduced (more digital, more data, more automated) – technology that reduces the amount of, or the nature of, human contact - then simultaneously and deliberately introduce measures that compensate. So that ‘high touch’ is maintained
- Make use of touch - activities like walking meditation, spending time in nature and gardening. Petting the dog. Activities that feed the tactile senses. With touch and vibration, endorphins (natural pain killers) are released - with benefits to skin, muscle tone circulation. Massage, reflexology, a spa treatment have calming effects. In addition to external varieties of massage,"humming massages the body from the inside out". (Campbell, D. 2001) A hot, relaxing bubble bath, accompanied by burning incense and music, comes close!). Be with and learn from children. Teach people to become more mindful of the texture, temperature and ‘feel’ of everything they touch
- Monitor the virtual/ physical balance of your new hybrid organisation - to ensure it doesn’t get out of balance. Welcome initiatives that connect remote and live-office employees, across functional boundaries. Allow wide and free communication - so that connection and a sense of inclusion is kept. Consider role ‘swops’ and a visit roster so that staff are exposed to the ‘other side’ of the ‘hybrid space’ that they occupy
- Get employees to discuss the impact of social distancing on their well-being and future-fitness. Get their ideas on the importance of, and ways of, maintaining high- touch as business technology, processes and culture changes
- Personally use physical touch wherever appropriate/ acceptable – a pat on the back, linking arms, ‘high fives’ … and high touch in the form of personal face to face communication … in order to break down any new social distancing habits that may have formed, but are no longer necessary. Opt for real hugs, not emoji hugs
- Before becoming part of blindly ushering in the new abnormal, remind yourself of the importance of touch. Look closely at the photo at the start of this article. Touch is a basic human need, one that we can use to preserve and repair our families, communities and the World that we inhabit.
REFERENCES
Campbell,
Don (2001) The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power of
Music to Heal the Body, Strengthen the Mind, and Unlock the Creative Spirit Harper Collins
Chillot, Rick (2013) The Power of Touch Psychology Today 11th March, 2013
Steiner, R.P. (2020) The Language of Touch
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