“It is not the answer
that enlightens but the question.” Eugéne Ionesco, playwright and poet
Why ask questions?
Questions lead to answers. Questions allow us to
construct an intelligible world. Without questions, lawyers, philosophers,
inventors, scientists, coaches, trainers, knowledge management developers,
management consultants, theologians, market researchers, journalists, police
investigators and employment interviewers would be lost. Without questions,
crucial conversations stall, curiosity goes unsatisfied and learning dries up,
veils covering the unknown are not lifted. With only pre-decided answers and no
questions, the salesperson fails to understand and connect, and loses out.
Without questions the psychologist or narrative therapist cannot open up new
possibilities for their clients, the doctor cannot diagnose.
Without questions in a safe environment, where
curiosity is valued, innovative companies lose their competitive edge.
Questions enable the quest. The quest for
data, information, knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
It’s good
that Newton asked “Why did the apple
fall?”, Archimedes asked “Why does my
bath water rise when I get in?”, de Vinci asked "Could man
fly?".
Help to lead from chaos to order. Fly like an arrow
straight to the heart of the matter.
There was once a small boy who loved banging his
drum all day and every day. He refused to be quiet, no matter what anyone else
said or did. Various people were called in to do something, to find the answer
to this disruption, to solve the problem.
The first told the boy that he would surely, if he
continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. The second told him
that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be reserved only for special
occasions. The third offered the villagers plugs for their ears. Someone gave
the boy a book to read. Another suggested meditation exercises. Yet another
offered more harmonious musical instruments.
Nothing worked.
Eventually a wise old woman asked of the boy,
"I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"
(Idris Shah)
What questions to ask?
Text books are full of information about closed and open-ended
questions. They cover leading and rhetorical questions, process questions –
prompting, clarifying, probing, establishing, trapping, challenging,
reflective, and provocative questions. Multiple-choice questions and enquiring
“What if?” questions. They offer
critique questions such as the “Who says?”
and “So what?” combination. Questions
that reframe thinking, that surface alternatives.
(It's also good to
escape from too much business reading, and to read simply for enjoyment. I find
as much wisdom, and often learn incidentally, by reading novels. Ed McBain's
87th Precinct mysteries, for example are great for studying probing questioning
and loop-back techniques).
Asking the right
questions is key.
In the Hans Christian
Andersen story, a child is the only one to ask what needed to be asked: “Why isn’t the emperor wearing any
clothes?”
When disciple
Malunkyaputta, worried that so much had yet to be explained by the Buddha, and
desperately ‘needing’ answers, he posed these and other questions:
“Is the soul different
to the body? Do the enlightened live after death? Is the world eternal or not?”
The Buddha answered:
“I have never said that if you lived a religious life you would understand these things. It is like a man, wounded by a poisoned arrow, who says to those who want to heal him: ‘No. This arrow must not be removed until I know who wounded me, what his name is, where he comes from, and what kind of bow he used, how was the arrow made?’ Surely this man would die before he received his answers. Whatever answers I give to the questions that you have posed Malunkyaputta, there is still suffering, old age, death – and these things we can transcend, and their explanation is useful. Your questions are not useful”.
Malunkyaputta applauded the Buddha’s answers.
The Buddha answered:
“I have never said that if you lived a religious life you would understand these things. It is like a man, wounded by a poisoned arrow, who says to those who want to heal him: ‘No. This arrow must not be removed until I know who wounded me, what his name is, where he comes from, and what kind of bow he used, how was the arrow made?’ Surely this man would die before he received his answers. Whatever answers I give to the questions that you have posed Malunkyaputta, there is still suffering, old age, death – and these things we can transcend, and their explanation is useful. Your questions are not useful”.
Malunkyaputta applauded the Buddha’s answers.
Einstein said something along these lines - that if
he were about to die and had only 1 hour to figure out how to save his life, he
would spend the first 55 minutes of that hour searching for the "right
question". Once he had formulated the question, then finding the answer
would take only 5 minutes.
For now,
just three thoughts:
The Japanese 5 Whys?
technique of delving deeper in order to uncover the root cause, is
worth adopting. We could reverse Benjamin Franklin as a fun way of
illustrating this:
the
kingdom was lost (Why?) for want of the war
the
war was lost (Why?) for want of a battle
the
battle was lost (Why?) for want of an army
an
army was lost (Why?) for want of a rider
a
rider was lost (Why?) for want of a horse
a
horse was lost (Why?) for want of a shoe
a
shoe was lost (Why?) For want of a nail
Cognitive Kinetics1 goes
beyond mind-mapping, and we use it to generate innovation within groups. To a
large extent, a successful outcome depends on the strength and flow of the
questions used to initiate new thinking. The Appreciative Inquiry approach,
which can also tap into narrative, resonates with the Ionesco quote at the
beginning of this article. Instead of asking questions such as 'What is the
problem?', 'What is wrong'; the approach is to focus on the positive to tap
into solutions: "What is good about what we are doing?' , 'Can
we foresee ways in which this can work better?'...........
The same applies to Anecdote Circles.
Within relationships.
The Johari
Window (developed by Joe Luft and Harry Ingham) is a nice way for people to
learn about each
other. A window is progressively opened by each person both telling and asking.
Receiving
and revealing what is known to self/ not known to self, known to others/ not
known to others.
It addresses facts, feelings and underlying beliefs.
When spotting one of your own limiting
beliefs (“I’m not good at….”, “I can’t……”), a timely intervention along
the lines of “Why do I believe this?
and “What if it’s not true?” can move you from awareness to a positive change.
When indignant, angry, disillusioned,
try switching from “How could she do this
to me, say that about me?” to “What
can I take from this that has value?”
I’ve noticed people who wear an armband
to help them confront troublesome situations: “What would Jesus do?”
Sometimes you can reverse a question.
Instead of “Why do we die?” you can
ask, “What would life be like if we did
not die?”
There are many teachers and advisers
selling water by the river. Quiet times alone in reflection and meditation will
often allow you to sate your thirst at the same river, gain answers that no one
else can give to you.
How should questions be asked?
Egyptian
writer and Nobel Prize winner for Literature, Naguib Mahfouz, once said: "You
can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is
wise by his questions". Advice to heed.
The right
question can be asked in the wrong way. How often have you been asked “How are you doing?” and know that it is
being asked by rote, as part of a standard greeting? When asked with real
interest and concern, it becomes a different question. And if you emphasise
different words in that four-word question, for example “How are YOU doing?” it projects yet other nuances. At a
presentation, are questions sometimes intended to impress, or convey that the
person posing the question disagrees with the speaker? Or are they asked with
an open mind, a genuine intent to learn?
In dialogues,
and questions within dialogues, there is an exchange of words (facts) and also
expressions, body language, voice tone, pitch, speaking pace (feelings). It is
not the actual wording of a question nor reply, but the other elements which
are more important.
Ask in a
way that shows that you are fully engaged and present, have a genuine interest
and are looking for a positive outcome. Ask after a connection has been made
and trust established.
Questions and listening are natural bedfellows
So when
you’re asked a question listen between the lines for facts and feelings.
Respect the other’s question.
Once
you’ve asked a question, jump into listening mode. Do this also when a
colleague, family member or friend is sharing their thinking. Listen attentively
without interfering, without jumping in with answers or questions. This
undermines the others ability to do their own thinking, come to their own
conclusions. The value of pauses and silences cannot be overstated. A
non-verbalised, implied question and interest, conveyed by an encouraging
facial expression, eye contact, a raised eyebrow or incline of the head – will
often do the trick.
You may of
course ask a question like: “What else
comes to mind?” so that the others’ thinking flow continues.
It is
estimated that the unconscious mind accounts for 95% of all cognition, and
Neuro-linguistic practitioners point out that what we hear and say is
influenced 55% by outward appearances and body language, 38% by voice quality
and only 7% by the actual words used. A great deal of what we hear takes place
at the unconscious level. Yet there are things we can do to consciously improve
our listening abilities. Attentive listening means listening for content,
emotions, assumptions, beliefs, intent.
Sometimes
after careful listening you can show the other an uncovered limiting belief,
blockage or assumption by asking questions such as: ”If you could…..? or “If you
were to…..?”
Silence
and pause can often be appropriate. Buddha responded with noble silence when asked
certain questions to do with life after death, whether the world was
eternal………. questions that are unanswerable but whose contemplation are of
value. We do have the right to remain silent sometimes. We can honour others by
being silent.
Nancy
Kline has lots more to say on this.3
Paul
Tillich the theologian says that “Listening
is an act of love”.
And
remember that story telling invites listening and questions, and carries
answers - not simply “What happens next?”
but also “What does this mean for me?”
Here is a
story to ponder:
I have answered the questions
People approach the new young rabbi in the community with their
questions. They come one by one. Why did my child die?
Why did my wife run away? Why is there so much hatred and anger in the world?
Where can I find work?
The rabbi is not able answer these questions so he approaches his
teacher, the great rabbi who says. “I will come and answer the questions”. There
is a great buzz in the community. On the Saturday morning the synagogue is full
of people. The great rabbi arrives. He bows to the Torah, the holy book. Then
he bows to the people.
He sits down and says, “Ask your questions”. He listens intensely to the
first person’s question and then says, “I won’t answer the questions now. I
will wait until everybody has asked their questions”. People look at each other
in amazement. How will he remember all the questions from so many people?
One by one people ask their questions. When everybody has spoken there
is silence.
The rabbi begins to rock his body backwards and forwards and begins hum
a niggun (a chant to induce a prayerful attitude). The people wonder what the
great rabbi is up to and then they begin to hum as well. Then the rabbi stands
up and begins to dance. The people begin to dance too. After the humming and
the dancing the great rabbi faces the people. There is silence. He bows to
them. Then he bows to the Torah. He says, “I have answered your questions"
and he leaves.
So the question is:
Are our questions sometimes
self-serving (to boost our egos, show that we know it all) or are they used to
empower others and to foster creative inquiry?
Perhaps we could add to the first verse
of Rudyard Kipling’s
I keep six honest
serving-men
(They taught me all I
knew);
Their names are What
and Why and When
And How and Where and
Who.
They serve me because I serve them
(Show how little I know).
References
1. Cybernovation
Technologies and Industries Ltd Users Manual:
Thinking with Hexagons 1990
2. Belasco, James A Teaching the Elephant
to Dance Hutchinson Business Books London 1990
3. Kline,
Nancy Time to Think Cassell
Illustrated, UK. 1999
